Shafted

Rejection is awful, but to never be given a chance is worse. For the past couple months this has certainly been the overriding feeling I have experienced in a particular field in which I have invested an overwhelming amount of time in. To feel useless and worthless in a place that means so much to me has been aggravating at the least, and it has taken all of my mental strength and energy to maintain considerable composure. I know that in less than a single lingering moment of time I will be far away from this place and this irritating instance will be nothing more than a vague shadow of a memory resigned to the repository of unpleasant experiences, but my logical reasoning can't undo my emotions. I just desperately want this time to pass, to move onto commitments that will actually enable me to feel needed and desired. It's not that I'm a particularly demanding individual, but like any human being I need gratification and recognition to feel the adrenaline of confidence and self-assured talent. The one thing I have learned, however, is that never again will I allow myself to be placed into a situation where being shafted is even remotely possible. Through work and sheer determination I will always be watched.